Off the Cell Phone Diving Board! | Funny about Money

Welp, the time has finally come. I?ve resisted buying a cell phone as long as any human being could possibly resist. First, because in the early years the month-to-month cost was just out of the question. Then as I watched the fellow humans chattering their way up and down the malls and, in a yakfest-induced haze, stumbling in front of traffic and bicycles and crashing their cars and running down small children in pedestrian crossings, I thought none of that foolishness for moi! Also, truth to tell, I have a kind of moral aversion to going around attached to a tether.

I don?t WANT to be ?connected,? damn it. I value my solitude and I especially value peace and quiet. Why would I want to be jangled at or vibrated at as I?m going about my daily errands? And everyplace and everytime else?

On the other hand?

On the other hand we have the superannuated Dog Chariot, that worthy wagon resting quietly in the garage. It has 112,000 miles on it (which reminds me: time for a service appointment), and it?s 12 years old, about 175 years in people years. Every time I get into that tank, whether it?s just to drive over to the Safeway or whether to make a serious junket to Scottsdale or to my friend?s house in Waddell, I wonder if the thing is going to get there and back without crapping out. In times of yore, it wouldn?t have mattered much: car craps out, you walk to the nearest gas station and call for help on a pay phone.

But today there are no pay phones. And people expect that everyone, no matter how poor, owns a cell. And so if they see an old lady standing by the side of the road, what are they gonna do? Nothing, of course. They?ll assume I?ve called someone and am waiting for them to show up.

So, just as a matter of safety, I think I?d better have a cell phone.

Fortunately, the little business earns enough to pay the freight?with pretax dollars. Accountant says the S-corporation can justify buying me a cell phone, it needing a phone number with which to communicate with its clientele. And also fortunately, prices have come down a little.

T-Mobile has prepaid plans that offer significantly more time and power than I need, and that do not lock you in to a contract you can?t escape. For $30, I can 100 minutes of talk time, unlimited texting, and unlimited Web browsing. And no contract harassment.

A hundred minutes is an hour and forty minutes. I very much doubt if I spend almost two hours a month on the phone! And even if I did, it appears that some of these gadgets will plug in to your wireless service, and in that mode the thing isn?t using up your ?minutes.?

You have to buy your phone when you use one of these prepaid plans. T-Mobile?s prices for these devices are exorbitant: $250 for an Android phone that you can get from Amazon for $189, with free shipping.

This thing, which appears to be a slightly outdated 4G gadget, is well reviewed by consumers. As for T-Mobile?s service, it is reviled slightly less than other communications carriers. No one seems to like any of them. Conveniently, this outfit seems to have a store on every corner, so if push comes to shove you can go in and speak to a human. Not that the humans can do much for you: when you do business with the company online, you?re treated as though you were doing business with an entirely different entity from the T-Mobile that appears in strip malls. However, I did learn that you don?t have to buy the phone from them to get it up and running on their network.

Decided to get a smartphone instead of the cheapest walk-around plain telephone I could get, because that seems to be the way to extract the most value from these plans. The $30 service allows one to connect with a smartphone, so it seems kind of ridiculous to pay for service and then not use it.

In that department, the Android seems to be the most sensible way to go. The iPhone is way too expensive, because to operate it you have to buy three different plans: a voice plan, a data plan, and a text messaging plan. With AT&T, for example, the data plan will cost you $15; the cheapest voice plan, $40; and the cheapest texting plan $5 a month for 200 messages sent or received. That?s a bare minimum of $60 a month, plus gouges for ?taxes and fees,? plus gouges for exceeding the allowed number of phone calls and random incoming text messages over which you have no control.

Sixty bucks a month for a phone! That is outrageous. Even if I could afford it, which I most certainly cannot, I wouldn?t pay it. Thirty is also a shade on the high side, but it?s marginally affordable.

The low-rent plans advertised by AARP are universally reviled. I?ve developed a flinch reflex around those AARP ?bargains,? after the Delta Dental fiasco. And, I might add, after learning that Safeco can provide more homeowner?s and auto coverage for significantly less than The Hartford does in its AARP plan. Check out some of the hilarious yowls of rage over Consumer Cellular, one of the plans advertised by AARP. At best, opinions are mixed. Cricket? Costs more than T-Mobile; enrages customers. Jitterbug? If these customers could award negative stars, they would.

T-Mobile doesn?t appear to be any better, especially of late, although it?s highly rated by PC magazine. A Consumer Reports survey found it was less hated than AT&T but less liked than Verizon or Sprint. Verizon has a prepaid plan, but it?s $50, more than I can afford. About $40 a month is the tops. Apparently there?s no limit on the amount of time you can talk, but why should I pay $120/year more for time I probably won?t use? You do get an alleged deal on a less expensive phone at Verizon, but according to CNET you can get that cheaper elsewhere, same as you can get the Samsung Exhibit II cheaper than T-Mobile?s price.

It appears to be a toss-up. A 2011 Consumer Reports round-up, available online only to those who are willing to pay to peek, suggested smaller carriers are preferable to the large networks and plugged Consumer Cellular along with TracFone, Straight Talk, T-Mobile, and Virgin Mobile.

TracFone has cheap monthly plans, but the company?s website is opaque. You can?t tell what you?re actually going to get for $10, $20, or $30 a month. For the $30 plan, you get 200 minutes over thirty days, but evidently there?s no web-surfing, no texting??? Impossible to tell.

Straight Talk has a $30 plan with 1,000 minutes, texting, picture messages, free 411 calls, all with no contract. You have to do business with Walmart to get it, unfortunately, but it looks like a better deal than T-Mobile.

For $30, Virgin Mobile gives you 1,500 minutes (take that, Straight Talk!). It also gives you 1,500 text messages, but only 30 megabytes of Web access. Interestingly, this outfit includes the extra dings and gouges billed as ?taxes and fees? in the base fee, so presumably you don?t pay more than advertised. Here, too, for just $50 you can get a Samsung phone with an actual keyboard, helpful for texting. LOL! Click on the in-house reviews for the phones, and the same reviews come up for every phone! What d?you bet their customer service is comparable?

Do you have a prepaid, no-contract monthly cell phone plan? If so, which one do you? use and how do you like it?

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Source: http://funny-about-money.com/2012/07/07/off-the-cell-phone-diving-board/

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